It is easy on this day to think about what we maybe don’t have or the amazing men we have lost. This year, though, I am thinking a lot about the dads-in-waiting.
I see you.
I see you today, of course, on the day that you should be getting all of the love and attention from your babies. But more importantly, I see you year-round when you are:
- A human jungle gym for your nieces and nephews (and your partner watches with a literal pain in her heart that words could never do justice to)
- Dog-dadding so hard
- Watching your friends become dads & patiently awaiting your turn
- Making those dad jokes that aren’t quite getting the appreciation they deserve
- Fielding the “when are you gonna have kids?” questions with a sense of grace and calm (that maybe your partner has run out of!), regardless of how you feel inside
- Not getting the same sympathy or “check-ins” from friends & family who think only women feel feelings during the wait
- Sitting in a waiting room at 6am, trying to make your wife laugh/smile/calm down/stop dreaming up worst case scenarios
- Standing by when she wants to “hold out hope” for that perfect mix of the 2 of you, even when you know better
- Playing doctor & mixing up those injections alongside her & wishing you could switch spots, even just once, to take away her pain
Because your body isn’t usually as involved or beat up in this process, you’re not often seen or outwardly appreciated enough during the wait, but your turn is coming.
We don’t do “everything happens for a reason” in this house. We own that sometimes life is unfair and there is no reason & no one else to blame. We pick up, we problem solve, we get educated, and we make the (sometimes tough) decisions that are the healthiest for our family. But, to the waiting dads, I say this: no matter how you become a dad, I know that your child will be the luckiest child in the world. And so does your partner, your family, and your friends. They see you. I see you.
For now, enjoy sleeping past 5am. Much love today & on the next leg of your journey to parenthood.